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WHAT MOST EXTROVERTS WON'T TELL YOU!!

Writer's picture: Laurie GrahamLaurie Graham

Updated: Nov 22, 2022

Many of us put on a brave face even when we're going through the hardest times in our lives. We don't want to burden others with our problems, so we put on a smile and carry on. But there comes a time when carrying that weight gets too heavy, and we need to reach out for help. This was me for most of this year. I was putting on a brave face, as you see below, but inside I was falling apart. I only let a few people in on what was going on, but I'm ready to share my story now in hopes that it will help others who might be facing something similar.


[A SMILE ON THE OUTSIDE DOESN'T ALWAYS REFLECT WHAT'S GOING ON, ON THE INSIDE]

This year has been one of the harder years of my life. For most of it and for the first time in many many years, I have been battling depression, self-doubt, and insecurities brought on mostly by my own desire to be an overachiever and to be a people pleaser. See, on the outside, it didn't look like I was going through anything, I had a smile on my face but inside I was falling apart. I want to share some of the steps that truly helped me find myself again.


The first step was reaching out for help. My poor husband, unfortunately, received the brunt of the breakdowns and tears, but completely supported me and encouraged me, and reminded me that it's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to need help. When we reach out for help, we are admitting that we can't do it alone (which I struggle with) and that's okay.


The second step was cutting out toxic relationships and influences in my life. This included social media comparisons, negative self-talk, and any energy vampires that were draining me emotionally.


The third step was investing in myself. This included investing in multiple coaching programs like Rich Ladies and The Impact Experience, programs that align with my values, and that gave me a fresh start in reminding me that I am significant and that I do have so much to offer this world. I started making more time for friends who support me, empower me, and who encourage me.


The fourth step was to reset my mindset. I had somehow programmed my brain to think that the more a person hustles, the more hours they work, and the more family time, personal time, and just time for themselves that they sacrificed to work made them a more successful person. WRONG this is not true, all it does is burn you out. So I started saying no, I stopped working extra hours just to "work", I started setting boundaries and focused harder during the day so that I wouldn't have to work later into the night. I made checks and balances with my belief systems and my core values, if it didn't fit - then I said no (sometimes that's really hard)


The fifth step and probably the most important was to spend more time with Jesus. I started reading my bible more, digging into the commentaries of the verses (this always help me visualize what was happening and helps me retain the message better)



This time of year is a time for reflection, and this year I am grateful for the lessons I learned during one of the hardest times in my life. Depression is real, and it doesn't discriminate. If you are facing something similar, know that you are not alone and reach out for help when you need it most. Remember to surround yourself with positive influences, do things that make you happy, and always give thanks for what you have -- even when things are tough.


YOU GOT THIS BOO!


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